College Football is Coming!

Today we got a dispatch from Iraq (thanks, Alec) reminding us at the Superstar that while it may be 90 degrees outside right now (okay, maybe a bit hotter over there), we're not too far away from September in the grand scheme of things.

And you know what September means, boys and girls.
(that's right... three wins and high hopes for Indiana that will inevitably lead to heartbreak. The annual Bill Lynch tease.)

I digress. Here's a nice article from Hail to Purple regarding Northwestern's preseason rankings in the major magazines and online. Interesting tidbit: Because the big mags (like Athlon) tend to market to bigger audiences, NU almost always gets screwed over.

Also, more evidence that Mark Schlabach is an idiot; he "called NU one of the teams most likely to 'freefall' in 2009 vs. 2008 and predicted no bowl for the 'Cats."

I'm thinking we will have our own college football preview out soon, so let us know what you want to read about.

Accidental Site Access?

So I was reading a story about Roy Halladay's perfect game, and came across a link to "Online Edge," ESPN's in-depth reports on MLB players including an incredibly detailed array of stats.

You can check it out here.

We all know ESPN doesn't like to give this sort of information for free... is it possible that this access was accidental? In that case, check out those report cards while ya can.

Bloomington: Nocturnal Adventures

I did something cool tonight, everybody. And no, that's not me.

Let me start at the beginning. About three weeks ago, I bought (with some timely assistance from a microfinancier in Evanston, IL), a brand spankin' new mountain bike. For those of you that are interested in that sort of thing, it's a Specialized Hardrock, a fairly starter-ish bike, but nonetheless very high quality. So far I have nothing but good things to say about it. Here it is, in all its bikey glory:

Anyway, I've been taking it out for random late-night spins whenever I get the jones to after work. I usually get off around 1 in the summertime (that's one AM for all you desk jockeys), by which time Bloomington, especially up around where I live, is basically quiet and deserted. All the kids have gone home to Indy and Chicago.

So I have the entire Indiana athletic complex to myself at night. In the past, this has led to wanderings around the football stadium, racing circles around Assembly Hall, and I definitely got a cool view of the new Cook Hall tonight from the outside.

IU Basketball's new facility is really pretty - I can't wait to see how they do it up for game days, but it already looks like a great addition to go with the North End Zone. Believe me, it looks much better up close at night with the lights on than it does in a simulation video. If I ever get a digital camera, I'll get some pics.

Rick Greenspan is really putting together something special. But I digress.

Tonight I did something a little different. I headed up to the Little 500 track, which, this being Bloomington, was sitting wide open and unlocked. Without any No Trespassing signs (in case anybody was worried.)

So I rode straight onto the cinderblock track and did five laps. In the pitch darkness. On a mountain bike.

It was awesome.
I have watched almost every Little 500 since being at Indiana, and always wondered what it would feel like to race that track. I think, looking at that picture, Barack probably felt the same way. Granted, doing it in the dark, without a crowd, not on the proper bike, and without 31 other riders trying to kill me makes for a somewhat different experience.

But I think I got the basic idea. And man was it cool.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. Bloomington at night is a pretty sweet place.

On to some side notes.

The IU Men's basketball team, per idsnews.com, got a 3.14 in spring semester. All you die hards looking to go back to the glory days, let's give credit where credit is due. Tom Crean and the boys are doing it "the right way."

Me, I'll take a 2.5 and an NCAA Tourney appearance... but whatever. Way to go, guys.

Also, Joe Posnanski at SI.com is very quickly becoming one of my go-to guys for online sportswriting. Natural voice, good analysis, just an ideal blend of everything you want in good writing as a whole, not just for sports. Here are a couple of his recent articles.

Royals aren't winning, but is that really Trey Hillman's fault?

Griffey's skills are long gone -- but it was fun while it lasted

And his NFL Draft article, which I thought was dead on: It gets more hype than ever, but NFL draft is still crapshoot

One more. I'd just like to remind you all that when you get sick of Peter King, there is a solution. Kissing Suzy Kolber does a detailed rebuttal of each and every column by The Big Latte. Here's the most recent.

THANK YOU, Michael Rosenberg

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/michael_rosenberg/04/15/tiger.jerry.ben/index.html?eref=sihp

The point of this story: Is it any of our damn business what Tiger, Roethlisberger, et al. do in their free time? I couldn't agree more. I'm so sick of these 'controversies' driving 50% of all sports traffic. What happened to watching the games?

Anyway, I'm glad somebody at a major outlet finally stopped pandering to the sensationalists.

I Like Bob Huggins!

At least, I always kinda liked Bob Huggins.

Then Rick Reilly got his two cents in. Now I *really* like Bob Huggins.

"I don't like Bob Huggins. Don't like his zero-point-zero graduation rates. Don't like his three-hour practices. Don't like the Vegas sweatsuit top. The artless, sledgehammer style of his teams that sucks all the air out of the gym. Not to mention the joy. Still, Huggins is brutally effective, kind of like a Russian gulag, only with slightly less charm."


Also, ESPN probably realized they needed to balance out their resident holier-than-thou jackass Reilly, so here's a column on the same topic from Andy Katz (minus the sermonizing).

The High Holy Days of Sports

College basketball has, by far, the best postseason of any sport.

And we're proving it again this year.

There's not a whole lot I can say about the first round of the NCAA tournament that hasn't already been said, so I will direct you to Bleacher Report, or CNNSI.com, if you want game breakdowns. Just a couple of notes from me.

1) Jordan Crawford and Armon Bassett scored 60 points between them in the first round, as Xavier and Ohio advanced. Crawford and Bassett could have been IU's starting back court this year. Everybody still on board for rebuilding, because I'm not sure I am. Seriously.

Bill Simmons asked a question in his live coverage of the tourney yesterday. PS - Sports Guy is the ONLY reason to read ESPN. The Question: Would you rather root for a college basketball team that wins all the time but might have ethical concerns, or a team that wins occasionally but is painfully honest?

I know which way Indiana administrators lean. And I gotta say, I disagree.

2) UNC - Mississippi State is on right now, in the NIT. Great game, as UNC leads on the road at The Hump. 36-33 at the half. Why expand the Tourney when the NIT is finally a good product? And no, I don't wanna talk about Northwestern. I don't even wanna think about it.

3) Oregon AD Mike Bellotti just resigned. A week after firing his basketball coach, Ernie Kent, who had been there for over ten years, I think? Anyway, Oregon's athletic program is in some serious trouble between Kent leaving, football players getting arrested and suspended, including your star QB Jeremiah Masoli, and now the head main bails? After one year on the job?

Something stinks here. Why aren't we hearing more about it? Oh, right. Bellotti got hired by ESPN as a commentator. No negative pub on the Worldwide Leader! I assume their ombudsman will jump right on this, and get ignored, just like always.

4) Enough negativity. Today I'm excited to watch Butler-Murray State and Washington-New Mexico, along with another former Hoosier, Ben Allen, playing for St. Mary's.

Tourney Announcers... Announced

The breakdown is here!

For my money, the Verne Lundqvist - Bill Raftery team is #1 overall, while Gus Johnson is the most entertaining guy to have on your TV during a good game.

The Old Men get that 9:55pm San Diego State vs. Tennessee game to wrap up Thursday, as well as another potentially good one in Richmond v. St. Mary's at 3:00.

GuJo, paired with Len Elmore, gets Mizzou vs. Clemson at 2:45 on Friday as well as Florida State vs. Gonzaga at 7:10.

Oh, and UPSET ALERT. He's also calling Vermont vs. Syracuse. A Catamounts run would be an epic way to end Day Two..

I'm Just Going...

...to leave this here. Please enjoy. And thanks to Simmons for mentioning it in his most recent:

"I would wager on Tiger coming back in severe Eff You Mode, like a seething MJ in Game 1 of the 1992 Finals. The greatest ones have a way of channeling negativity and fueling it toward whatever makes them great. Jordan made a habit of it. So did Ali. But they were also larger-than-life personalities, whereas Tiger was always just someone who was freakishly good at golf and that's it."

[Edit: How did I miss this? "Regardless, I probably shouldn't do chats anymore -- not because I screwed up but because it's dumb to waste points better served in a larger format such as this column." So, Noffke, you made it into Sports Guy's last chat. Nice.]

Armchair Superstar Turns 1

One year ago Mark Fodor and myself decided to embark on an adventure to have our own sports blog. ACSS is what has become of this idea. As of writing this we have had 19,519 hits for our page (so close to 20,000). We all know that 90-95% of these hits are Mark and myself, with the other 5% coming from Mark’s mom (who never posts any comments). It’s been a fun year and it’s time to look back and see some of the good, and not so great moments. Needless to say, enjoy the post, re-read some of the old posts, it’s amazing how good, bad and funny some of the things we have posted on this site. That was the best part of creating this post, just seeing what we were talking about at different times of the year last year.

Stats on Posts

We currently have a stable of 10 different posters who have posted a total of 360 different posts, just shy of Fodor’s year goal for 365. Now, I bet you are wondering, who had the most posts for the year. Including this post Mark Fodor and I are tied at 155.5 (we co-wrote one piece together) posts for the year. Fodor has led the blog in total posts for most the year. I passed him once in the last full week of October, only to have him reclaim the lead the next week. I have caught up to him again at this tie. Here is a breakdown of posts by writer.


Fodor 155.5
Noffke 155.5
Ryan 23
Tim 5
AJ 5
Alec 4
Dan 4
Colin 3
Derek 3
Ben 2

Fodor led the blog with the most posts in one month with 20 posts in February 2009. Who said sports is dead in February? I hold the record for most post in a week with 10. This happened on 11/08-11/15. This is also the record week for ACSS with 18 posts. The ACSS month with the most posts was October with 40. The ACSS record for week with most different posters was 08/30-09/06 where we had 5 different people post an article.

In honor of our one year anniversary I decided to hand out some awards for the blog. I have named the awards the ACeSS (pounced Aces)






Worst Writer of the Year!

The Winner is…Stephen Noffke

I clearly win the award for worst writer. Leaving aside the inconsistent posting with few post over a couple a weeks, one need to go no further then this post to figure out why I am the worst writer. I have 0, that’s right 0, grammar skills. I couldn’t form a cohesive sentence to save my life. We also can’t forget about the numerous typos that are any given post. On top of all this, I also have an inability to finish what I started. Fodor and I did a countdown of our Top 10 sports moments, I stopped at 5. I also was going around the NFL to name which players on each team’s roster would have their number retired or make the hall of fame. I got through 2 of the 8 divisions. So clearly I earn this award.



Laziest Post of The Year!

The Winner is…. Important Story I Can’t Get Through by Mark Fodor


Instead of reading the story, Fodor read the first little bit of it, got bored, and posted it on the website hoping someone would explain. Luckily the ACSS future writer Ryan is in law school and was able to break it down for him. Bravo for Fodor to be too lazy to read the article, and barely explain anything in your post.



The Article with the most Comments!

The Winner is…. A tie Urlacher Out For Season: Paging Derrick Brooks? , posted by Fodor, and Random Trivia of the Week, RB College , posted by me, with 7 each

I would like to give extra credit to the Urlacher post because the Trivia encourages people to post, while the Urlacher post just led to many comments.



Best Pictured Posted

The Winner is….



This picture is found in the Depressing Landscape of College Football by me. I really like this picture, the way it uses all the different football helmets to show where each team is located. I know most of you will not agree with me, but oh well.



Article with the best Pictures Posted

The nomiees are…

Would You Rather: See Notre Dame or Chicago Bears Win this Weekend By Stephen Noffke

Dissecting ESPN’s Scouts Inc. NFL Rankings By Position: The Quarterbacks by AJ Etsch


Dissecting ESPN’s Scouts Inc. NFL Rankings By Position: The Running Backs By AJ Etsch


Dissecting ESPN’s Scouts Inc. NFL Rankings By Position: The Wide Receivers By AJ Etsch



The Winner is…. Dissecting ESPN’s Scouts Inc. NFL Rankings By Position: The Quarterbacks
By AJ Etsch

This one wins by a landslide. The array of comical and painful pictures (depending on who you cheer for) are in a beautiful mix. I believe this article also has the most pictures with help. I honestly couldn’t help but laugh at each and everyone of these pictures.



Best Link Posted

If you have ever read this blog, then you know what choice I am going to go with. The clip of Super Bo on Super Techmo Bowl. This clip has been posted numerous times by myself.




Best Video Posted.

The Nominees

College Baseball Dance-off by Mark Fodor

Miami Dolphins fight song by T-Pain in This One’s for Fodor by Stephen Noffke

Peyton Manning Yells at his Protection By Stephen Noffke


The Winner is…. Miami Dolphins Fight Song!

The song is amazingly catchy, and can easily get stuck in your head. I know it’s been the most listed to song and most watched video we have ever posted.

The other two are solid contenders. The College Baseball Dance-off is hysterical at points and just ok at other. Peyton swearing on TV is also a classic moment.




Most Inappropriate Writer

The Nominees

Ryan Parrent or AJ Etsch

The Winner is….Ryan!

Ryan has gone out of his way to call ESPN mentally challenged (in not as pc ways) numerous times. The entire purpose of this post was to show the picture of Spider-man doing his best Peter North impression. He has used angry and sometimes foul language in his posts and comments, and even a letter he sent to David Stern.

AJ does use a lot of rough language but is not as over the top as Ryan is, congratulations Ryan!




Most Unbelievably Timed Post

The Nominees

Big Ten Expansion By Stephen Noffke

Hard Luck NFL Fans By Stephen Noffke



The Winner is… Big Ten Expansion By Stephen Noffke.

This article wins the award because about a month after I posted this, the Big Ten announced plans to look into expansion. The crazy thing is, I had started this article in June, and put off finishing it forever. One day I decided to do finish it, and couldn’t have timed it better.

The Hard Luck fans had lucky timing too because a week after I posted my article, the Sports Guy posted his.



Longest Article of the Year

The Nominees


Steve’s Bracket by Stephen Noffke

Armchair Superstar Mock Draft By Stephen Noffke and Mark Fodor

Retro Diary: Classic College Football on BTN Illinois at Indiana 1999 By Stephen Noffke

27 Up 27 Down By Stephen Noffke


Outback Bowl – Live Blog Madness By Mark Fodor



The Winner is…. Outback Bowl – Live Blog Madness By Mark Fodor


Technically Fodor split his live blog into two separate entries, but since they were basically one continual entry he gets the nod. The Longest single post was the Retro Diary, and the Longest no diary was Steve’s Bracket. Here is a word count of each article



Finish
Outback Bowl – Live Blog Madness By Mark Fodor 3,640
Retro Diary: Classic College Football on BTN Illinois at Indiana 1999 2,853
Steve’s Bracket: 2,516
Armchair Superstar Mock Draft 2,428
27 Up and 27 Down 2,210





Most Heated Post

Letter To David Stern by Stephen Noffke

This article as well as it’s follow up got more heated debates between ACSS writers, friends and family then any other post of the year. Obviously it wasn’t as much about the post as it was about the NBA lack of actions. This article would be the first of many NBA bashing the website would do. Which leads us to




Most Target Topics for Rants

The nominees

College Football Scheduling

NBA Refs


ESPN Hating Jay Cutler


The Winner is…. NBA Refs

NBA Refs took more of a beating throughout the year from our posters and comments then anything else. You can find shots at NBA refs from March through December, even when the NBA was in the off-season. ESPN hating Jay Cutler lead to a lot of other heated posts of its own from multiple sources including some less then flattering words from Ryan (see inappropriate awards). College Football Scheduling was some I personally ranted on a lot but did often enough to make this list.

Now we come to the final two awards; Writer of the Year and Post of the Year.



Writer of the Year:

The Nominees

Mark Fodor

Stephen Noffke

The Winner is…. Mark Fodor

Mark started the blog and convinced me to join. He is tied with me for the most post for the year, but didn’t rely as heavily as I did on posting a link or a trivia questions (Total “Short Posts” as I called them: Noffke 50 Fodor 29). Fodor also got ACSS onto Bleacher Report where he also landed a columnist job for Indiana Basketball. With out Mark Fodor there would be no ACSS so congrats to Mark.

(Editor’s Note: I was going to pick myself, but I don’t think anyone enjoys my writing as much as I do myself)




Post of the Year

I ran into a dilemma with this. When flipping through for Post of the Year, I noticed a trend that every one of my nominations was an article that I had written. It’s not that I don’t enjoy reading everyone else’s articles, it was just that I was clearly biased in liking my articles because I know what it took to write them, how long it took to write and they were about topics I liked. So instead of doing Post of the Year, I am going to do Stephen Noffke Post of the Year and leave the other writers to have their own if they so choose.


Stephen Noffke Post of the Year

Nominees

Sports Stigmas

Case for POY: I felt like this was my first really good article I had written for the site. I had the idea in my head for a few years and finally got the idea on paper. The article discusses a sensitive issue but I think gives everyone a different view of how we look at sports.


How to Pick a Bracket

Case for POY: I did a statistical breakdown of every Final Four since 1985 to prove my point. I have long held onto this theory and finally had the stats to back me up. I though the piece had a good flow to it, a serious, but not too serious tone of suggesting to take it’s advice On top of that, it was proven correct on both accounts this year.


Problems with College Football Schedules and College Football: A Depressing Landscape of out of Conference Games(I know these are two different articles, but they were a few days apart and basically one long rant)

Case for POY: This topic just got me fired up. I have discussed this with friends for years, and I am sure I will continue to rant on the site about this. Both articles had good information and good flows to them.


Home Field Advantage for the World Series

Case for POY: This article got me the best compliment I ever received. While waiting for a movie, I had Jamie read this piece on my Blackberry. Once she was done she noticed my name at the bottom and said, “O you commented on this article.” She didn’t realize until I told her that I wrote this piece that it wasn’t from a major website. I also really liked this article because it was so easy to write; it just came to me naturally and flowed off my fingertips onto the page.

Ode to College Football

Case for POY: I love this article because I couldn’t tell you one reason why I love College Football, so I listed off as many reasons as I could, and I still don’t think it gives it justice. It makes me excited for football every time I read it and I can’t wait to experience more college atmosphere’s live compared to on TV.

Big Ten Expansion

Case for POY: The timing of this couldn’t be beat. The fact I spent so much time on it, and almost everything I discussed in this article has been discussed by every other article I have read about Big Ten Expansion post announcement. I got tons of great feedback on it and how much people enjoyed the in depth look at each team as well as the reason behind the expansion and the problems with it.

Hard Luck NFL Fans

Case for POY: I originally thought this was going to be a throw away article. An article I just write real quickly to get some quick though provocation and then it’s gone. I was surprised how much everyone told me they liked this article and how it was clear to see the amount of research that went into it. Then Sports Guy’s article a few days later made me smile


And the Winner is….

This was such a tough choice; I kept going back and forth between Ode to College Football and Big Ten Expansion I liked each for different reasons. In the end I chose Ode to College Football because I didn’t stop writing it for 3 months like I did with Big Ten Expansion. It took me about an hour to write and I tried to list off everything I love about College Football and what everyone else around the country loves about college football and that’s what came up. It was a close race, but I loved all these articles for different reasons and I think they are all winners.


So there you have it, the ACeSS. Was my choice for POY your favorite too? Did I mess up any other awards? Did I complete forget about some? Am I going to agree with my own awards in 24 hours? Probably Not. Comment or Post away with your thoughts.

Finally, Thank You to all our Readers out there (all 3 of you!).

Dome Field Advantage

This was a really interesting read from Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci. He discusses how dome's create an unfair advantage and allows player stats to be pumped up because of this advantage. He comments that baseball, Larry Walker is criticized for hitting so well in hitter friendly Coors Field, while Peyton is congratulated for putting up big stats in climate control. A recommended read for all.

Classic Super Bowl Commercials

Found this link to some classic Super Bowl commercials. My biggest question, where did Michael get his outfit for the McDonald's commercial.

Bill Simmons wants to write like Noffke

Isn't it interesting that the Sports Guy puts out his tortured fan article a week after Noffke puts out his? If I didn't steal so many of his ideas, I'd go after him for plagiarism.

Herd’s Logic Sucks

I know a lot of people do not like Colin Cowherd’s show, but I enjoy it for the most part. He talks a lot of football and specifically college football. If you listen to the show you know Colin is accused of being a SEC and Southern Cal homer. I don’t think he’s a homer, but he does like to talk about those schools and why there the best, which they have been for the decade. For the most part, I don’t like hearing his arguments, but can’t say anything because the Big Ten, ACC, Big East and Big XII haven’t backed it up on the field. However, today, on his show, he had some very dumb comments.

Colin was comparing BCS records of each conference and it shows that SEC is the best, ACC is terrible and the Big Ten right in the middle. A caller comes on and says, “Colin, the one item you are dismissing is the Big Ten travels to Southern Cal and has to play Southern Cal (aguably the best team of the 00s) while the SEC gets to play in the Sugar Bowl against lesser competition like Hawai’i and Notre Dame.”

I find these two points to be very good points, Big Ten plays best team in land every year, while SEC stays home and beats up lesser teams because the Sugar Bowl only has 1 tie in. Not to mention the year Ohio State played Louisiana State in Louisiana.

Colin to dismiss this thought goes, “Alamaba had to travel across the country while Texas only had to go 800 miles.” Umm what? Austin is 1,400 miles away almost twice as much as he said. Maybe El Paso is only 800 miles, but Texas is a huge state. Tuscaloosa is 1,700 miles. So 300 mile difference isn’t that bad.

He followed that up with, “Florida played Ohio State in Arizona. Columbus to Glendale is a quick flight, it’s across country for Florida.” A quick flight to Glendale? It’s 1900 miles, Gainesville is 2000. What the hell is he talking about? Ooooo the adversity for Florida to go to Glendale, they had to travel an extra 100 miles (which via plane is what 20 minutes) because Columbus and Arizona are neighbors. Stop talking a listening to a good argument for once in your life Colin. And if you are going to dismiss one so easily, know the facts.

Thank You, Stewart Mandel

CNNSI.com's college football guru opens his article today with a detailed comparison of three very similar schools: Stanford, Northwestern, and Notre Dame.

All three sport six victories this season. Northwestern just became bowl-eligible for the third straight season (compared with two for the Irish) and sixth time in seven years (five for Notre Dame).

There's a lot more, and it is music to this Northwestern fan's ears. Anybody still think Pat Fitzgerald is taking that Notre Dame job? Why would he want it?

You can read the rest of the article at CNNSI.

Comments? Anybody alive out there?

Sports Illustrated's Food for Thought

How cool is that? I think Texas would probably win it all, they've got the easiest road if they could survive that Georgia Tech offense.

Tim Lincecum vs. Michael Phelps

This is a case study in celebrity marijuana charge treatment, and the #1 reason why I would rather live in Washington than South Carolina:

Grant Hansen, a Clark County deputy prosecutor, told the newspaper his office is willing to dismiss a misdemeanor charge of possessing 3.3 grams of marijuana.

"We negotiated the case in the manner we do with just about every first-time marijuana-drug paraphernalia case where the individual is cooperative with the officer," Hansen told The Columbian. "We dismissed possession of marijuana and amended the other charge to buying or selling drug paraphernalia, a Class A civil infraction." (ESPN.com News)

That's right. They treated the famous person like an actual person. Wow. Revolutionary. Instead of, say, shamelessly grabbing for publicity.

The 5'10" Lincecum, by the way, is probably the best young pitcher in baseball despite weighing about half-a-CC Sabathia. Maybe less. And he likes the reefer. Oh, and he was on my fantasy baseball team ("Double Baggers") this year. I think I may be interested in rooting for this kid next year. PS, in retrospect (see picture), this is less surprising than Sammy Sosa and 'roids.

Somewhere out there, Michael Phelps is looking at houses (with swimming pools) in Seattle.

The Rick Reilly Suck Files

Everybody has a media member (or six) that they just can't stand. Whether it's their political perspective (Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity), know-it-all style of announcing (Joe Buck), or know-nothing style of announcing (Troy Aikman), these guys drive us nuts one agonizing performance at a time.

Sportswriters are definitely eligible for this category, too, and I am pleased to announce that I have found my Worst Sportswriter Of 2009!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's ESPN's Rick Reilly! Here's an excerpt from his latest P.O.S. White-Collar Suck Up Article, not surprisingly starring America's New Golden Boy, Matt Barkley;

On Saturdays, Marvin has to do chores at the frat. On Saturdays, Matt has to do chores for the football team. Like beat Ohio State and Notre Dame. On the road.

When he's done at the frat, Marvin runs to the games and sings along with the marching band. His favorite song is "Tusk." Matt doesn't sing along with the marching band, but we assume No. 7's favorite song is "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes, played by the SC band at key moments in Trojan games.

Excuse me while I go vomit.

Some people may dislike Peter King for his naivete and Favre butt kissing. A lot of people think Mark Schlereth is awful. And I agree. But for sheer nauseating pandering to the country-club megachurch Beemer/Soccer Mom SUV set, ya just can't beat Rick Reilly.

How 'bout that 47-20 beatdown at Autzen Stadium yesterday? I've never loved Oregon more. Not that ESPN would ever send Reilly out of his cushy comfort zone to cover a scruffy li'l QB like Jeremiah Masoli. But who needs that kind of crap when you're penciled in to the Rose Bowl?
So... I'm wondering. Who drives you nuts in the sports universe? Am I being too hard on poor old Reilly or does he deserve this? And how on earth did I manage not to mention Pam Ward in this article?

Peter Vecsey's Horrible Hall of Fame Speech

...this is from the dinner the night before the HOF induction ceremony, where media members get their love.

Props to Jeff Pearlman, who was there, for breaking news of what is probably one of the five worst speeches of the Internet era.

Michael Jordan actually left about halfway through. Just got up and left. And it was his party, basically.

Way to go, Vecsey.


EDIT: You can see MJ's cool-ass speech at his own induction HERE. I loved it. Talk about competitive fire.

Dissecting ESPN's Scouts Inc. NFL Rankings By Position: The Linebackers

Although I had said after my last dissection that I was going to next move on to the Tight Ends, I decided that that would have just been boring as all hell (albeit it an excuse to post G-Reg's 7th Floor Crew rap). So instead today I bring you the Linebackers!


(Grades in () )

1. DeMarcus Ware (94): With this grade, Ware is the highest rated overall player in the NFL. Although I don't know if I would normally spout his name off the top of my head if someone were to ask me who the top player was, I would definitely at list consider him. Since coming into the league in the 2005 season, his lowest season sack total was 8. This total was not only his lowest, but also the only time he has gone under 10 sacks on the year. Last year he came within 2.5 sacks of sharing the league record set by Michael Strahan in 2001. He has made the Pro Bowl each of the last three seasons, and will most likely continue to dominate this season as well. Much like former college teammate Osi Umenyiora, he is also a trader to War Eagle fans across the country by being from Auburn, yet choosing to go to Troy. As someone who has been to Troy, AL I can only imagine that he was paid off, because that town is nothing to write home about.

2. James "Silverback" Harrison (93): Plain and simple, if I saw Harrison walking towards me, I would probably void my bowels and run away crying. He has got to be by far one, if not THE most intimidating defensive player in the league. He shows unwavering aggression, as well as some surprisingly decent speed (as seen during his Super Bowl pick 6). Not only is he an intimidating presence to other players, but he also allegedly (charges were thrown out) assaulted his girlfriend, and as this fan from Cleveland (reportedly to also have the highest IQ of any Browns fan) can show us, even the fans aren't safe from this 2-time Pro Bowler/2008 NFL Defensive Player of the Year:


3. Shawne "Lights Out" Merriman (92): I'm calling bullshit on this one. I don't care what his stats for the first three years of his career say (2005-2007), the guy tested positive for roids and got suspended for it. Not only that, his sack dance makes him look more spastic than an epileptic at a strobe light expo. As noted during my rundown of running backs, MJD knocked this guy on his ass (video link in that post), so take that for what it is (5'6" RB lays out 6'4" LB). And lest we forget the recent legal problems with his current significant other, the delightfully trashy Tila Tequila:


4. Patrick Willis (90): I was going to try and come up with some bitter argument about why Urlacher should have beaten this young two-time Pro Bowler out in at least one of his two seasons in the league...but statistically I cannot. He's a good player, who has been coached by the greatest pants-dropper in the NFL (next to Esera Tuaolo of course), the baddest dude on the '85 Bears: "Samurai" Mike Singletary!


5. (Tie) Karlos Dansby (86): Uhh, k. I mean he has some decent stats, but, uh....he spells Karlos with a K so I guess he's unique in that respect at least.

5. (Tie) Terrell Suggs (86): Phew, for a second there I was losing hope in the rest of the post, back to someone relevant! Although he has made the Pro Bowl 3 times, his stats really aren't anything special at all. When it comes down to it, the Raven's defense is noted more for Ed Reed and Stabby McStabs-Alot than Suggs. So I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that although he is a good player, he should be lower on this list when compared to other players.

7. (Tie) Lance Briggs (85): Woohoo a Bear in the top 10 in his position!!! Briggs has made the Pro Bowl each of the past four seasons, and as of late has been the most dominant member of the Bears D. I expect that number to reach 5 this season. And although it's his jersey number, like Sammy Hagar, Lance clearly 'Can't Drive 55'


7. (Tie) Jon Beason (85): Pretty good numbers, belongs in the top 10. This Pro Bowler/7th Floor Crew member should make the top 10 alone on the accolade of being a former Hurricane without a criminal background.

9. (Tie) Aaron Kampman (83): Normally I would put Kampman easily within the top 10 for his position...but that was back when he played DE. Now that the Pack has switched to a 3-4, Kampman has been moved to linebacker. Because of this switch, I feel that until I see how well he can handle the new system I'd have him a little lower on the list. On a side (and actually serious) note, Kampman went to Aplington-Parkersburg High School in Iowa, where an average student population of under 300 students has produced 4 NFL players. This speaks volumes about the dedication of these players, as well as the coach Ed Thomas, who tragically had his life taken earlier this year. I think I speak for everyone when I say that I hope the bastard who shot him rots in hell.

9. (Tie) Keith Bullock (83): How'd this guy get ahead of Urlacher? Solid player, but not better than Brian.

11. (Tie) Brian Urlacher (82): I may just be being a homer about this, but although Urlacher has lost a little bit of his groove over the past two seasons, he still puts up some damn good numbers (some better than several of the players listed above). I think that if you have to put Brian out of the top 10 for this, then the same should have been done with Brett Favre. His Old Spice Swagger commercial should have at least given him the edge over Bullock.



Next up: Defensive Ends

One more thing I have to gripe about: Blogger's editing interface blows

Peter King Has Bears in the SuperBowl

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/football/nfl/09/01/main/index.html?eref=sihpT1


So Peter King has picked the Bears to return to the place where they lost the Super Bowl and loose for their second time their. He also has the Bears going through the division to get there beating the Vikings in the Conference Semi’s and Packers in the Conference Finals. Nothing would make me happier then to see those two teams meet their end on the field at Soldier Field. This is almost ideally how I’d like to see it go down. But, I’m worried that everyone is picking the Bears to do well that they will flop. Kind of like when the Bulls signed Big Ben people were saying NBA Finals for them, well that didn’t turn out so well. I honestly hope the playoffs go down this way, I just don’t want to be disappointed in the Bears season.

Oh, and if we played the Pats in the SuperBowl, the final would be 46-10 Peter, Bears win again.