Thursday, August 7, 2014

Another Year, Another Half-Dozen Fantasy Teams

Hey guys,

It's time once again for NFL dorks the world over to start perusing training camp reports, finding out who's "in the best shape of their lives," and seeking for the sleepers that will more than likely never awaken (Jared Cook).

It's time to sit online and do mock drafts in leagues that in no way resemble your own.  It's time to buy shamefully outdated fantasy football magazines because you failed to sufficiently do your homework before your draft, and your printer is broken, and you need a cheat sheet.  It's time to then "donate" that magazine from June to the guy in your league who's even more clueless than you, and watch him take Josh Gordon in the second round.

It's time to pony up several (hundred) dollars that you'll likely never see again.  You'd be better off buying lottery tickets.  It's time to rediscover your love of Matthew Berry and Scott Pianowski and twenty other dudes just like us except for their work ethic and willingness to perform under deadline pressure.


To be perfectly honest, my main motivation for writing this piece is to bury Ryan's World Cup trash talk, and that's almost good enough justification even if I don't write another word.  Never mind that, let's talk drafting.

Since the dawn of fake football time, the conventional wisdom held that with your first two picks, you needed to take two running backs.  "RB-RB" remains a decent strategy, if you're fifty.  Maybe I'm biased because I always end up with low picks in every draft since I was a teenager and Priest Holmes was unstoppable.  But look, the failure rate of highly drafted running backs has been on the rise for many years.  RBs these days are mostly a disposable commodity in the NFL.  It sucks (for them), but that's the reality.

I feel like the better approach with running backs is to try to get one 'bell-cow' type dude, and then a WHOLE BUNCH of lottery tickets late - your Carlos Hydes (though I still think Frank Gore is immortal), your Devonta Freemans, your [fill in the blank with this year's Zac Stacy] on waivers after Week 6.

More and more, I've been leaning towards the stud wideouts and quarterbacks in the first two rounds.  I'll take at most one running back, unless somebody drops.  With pick 10, for example, I've been doing a whole lot of drafting Demaryius Thomas or AJ Green, followed by Aaron Rodgers early in the second.  An alternative using RB-RB would have me taking Demarco Murray and Giovani Bernard.  I feel a lot safer with the true blue-chippers early, regardless of position.  Safety with high picks, risks with low picks.

If you have a very high first round selection, however, you should totally go RB first.  Jamaal Charles, LeSean McCoy, Matt Forte, and Adrian Peterson shouldn't be passed up for anybody except maybe Jimmy Graham or Calvin Johnson.  Basically, those should be your top six picks in virtually any draft, in virtually any order.  I would then follow up late in the second by getting a top notch guy at a different position from your first guy, whatever that happens to be.  Go for value.

I will have more thoughts and some love-hates as D(raft)-Day approaches.  My drafts for my three conventional leagues are August 23, 24, and 25.  And the defense only league (hell yeah the defense only league) drafts September 1.  Please comment if you have more thoughts, requests on specific topics of discussion, or just want to thank me for burying Ryan.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

My Semi-Humble Lesson on Soccer

Well, it appears as though I got robbed. For a little bit, it looked like I was going to enjoy the prominence I deserve. It looked like Argentina was going to win the World Cup.

However, the German's cheated and won 1-0 in extra time. That's okay. I still reigned supreme in the Group Stage, and I was a cheating German away from taking the whole damn thing. Essentially, I had the most dominant team. I think that's undeniable. I'll just take the whole sweep next time.

But, out of the generous nature of my own heart and my own innate desire to compete, I will give you guys some tips to take with you as you ponder how to stack up with me in four years time. So, without further adieu, here are five tips to live by:

1) Be Me: This one is simple. You have to be me. If you aren't me, you're screwed.

2) Pick the Best Teams: This one is also simple. Don't pick bad teams *Cough* Tim and Tim *Cough* The rest of you will struggle with this one unless, of course, the first tip is met.

3) Actually Do Some Research: This one goes out to Tim Transon. You picked the two teams who were clearly going to finish last in their respective brackets in rounds 3 and 4. Don't do that. That was stupid.

4) Don't Make a Retarded Pick Second Overall: Tim Fodor, you still had Argentina and Germany on the board, and you went with Spain. This was as bad as it gets. May God have mercy on your soul.

5) Be Me: If you aren't me, there is really no point. Sorry. You might as well just concede if you're not me. If you're not me, than the rest of these tips are really just moot.

So there you have it. The 5 essential tips to winning the World Cup pool... You know what? Screw it. I'll give you one more BONUS tip:

6) Don't Be STEVE NOFFKE: If you're Steve Noffke, I think we can pretty much all agree you're screwed. So, don't be him. If you are Steve, there may be some hope: Lobotomy.

In four years, I don't want to hear that my tips were for nothing. If you fail to read this, well, then that's on you. Goodluck!

Friday, June 27, 2014

ACSS World Cup Pool

Now that the Group Stage is over, we can focus on the Knockout round and the winner of the second half of our pool. The good news is everyone still has teams left.


Players with 3 Team(s) Left: 3
Players with 2 Team(s) Left: 2
Players with 1 Team(s) Left:3

We had 2 4th round picks make it through with Nigeria for Colin and Costa Rica for Ryan

We had 2 3rd round pick make it through as well with Algeria for Mark Fodor and Mexico For Ryan

Lastly, only two first round picks didn't make it through. Spain (#2 overall) for Tim Fodor and Portugal (#7 overall) for me

Here is a list of the teams each player has left. Here's a link to the knockout round schedule

  • Dave Weir
    • Geramany
    • Netherlands
  • Mark Fodor
    • Uraguay
    • France
    • Algeria
  • Tim Fodor
    • Greece
    • USA!
  • Ryan Parrent
    • Argentina
    • Mexico
    • Costa Rica
  • Colin O'Shea
    • Colombia
    • Chile
    • Nigeria
  • Steve Noffke
    • Belgium
  • Tim Transon
    • Switzerland
  • Dan Noffke
    • Brazil

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

ACSS World Cup Pool Standings

Hello Everyone

Congrats to Ryan. He won the group stage by 2 points over Colin.

I think we can already give away the award for biggest flop of the tournament to the #2 overall pick Spain! Congrats Tim Fodor on that one. I am excited because my first round pick Portugal was in the running, but  won't have to take that crown.

Below are the standings.These standings are as the completion of play for all Groups

Team Points Goal Dif
Ryan Parrent 24 7
Colin O'Shea 22 9
Dave Weir 20 9
Mark Fodor 17 0
Steve Noffke 17 -5
Dan Noffke 13 -4
Tim Fodor 11 -11
Tim Transon 11 -5

Here is the team by team breakdown

Dave Weir Points Goal Dif
Colin O'Shea Points Goal Dif
Germany 7 5
Columbia 9 7
Netherlands 9 7
Chile 6 2
Bosnia & Herz 3 0
Croatia 3 0
South Korea 1 -3
Nigeria 4 0
Total 20 9
Total 22 9

Mark Fodor Points Goal Dif
Steve Noffke Points Goal Dif
Uruguay 6 0
Portugal 4 -3
France 7 6
Belgium 9 3
Algeria 4 1
Ivory Coast 3 -1
Honduras 0 -7
Japan 1 -4
Total 17 0
Total 17 -5

Tim Fodor Points Goal Dif
Tim Transon Points Goal Dif
Spain 3 -3
Switzerland 6 1
Greece 4 -2
Italy 3 -1
USA! 4 0
Ghana 1 -2
Australia 0 -6
Iran 1 -3
Total 11 -11
Total 11 -5

Ryan Parrent Points Goal Dif
Dan Noffke Points Goal Dif
Argentina 9 3
Brazil 7 5
England 1 -2
Russia 2 -1
Mexico 7 3
Ecuador 4 0
Costa Rica 7 3
Cameroon 0 -8
Total 24 7
Total 13 -4

Friday, June 6, 2014

2014 Armchair Superstar World Cup Pool

Hello Everyone

Welcome back 4 years later to the Armchair Superstar world Cup Pool. We have 7 players coming back from last time and have lost Derek Wilson, but we picked up this blog's favorite reader who isn't a write Tim Fodor (Mark's little brother).

Here are the rules

  • Buy-In $20
  • 8 Players 
  • 4 Teams Per Player
  • Team Selection: 4 round snake order draft. Rules explained below. I will get Jamie to rig randomly select the draft order posted below. 
  •  Ways to win 
    •  ½ Pot goes to Player with the World Cup Winning Team 
    • ½ Pot goes to Player with most points in Group Stage  
      • Tiebreakers for the group stage will be determined the same way as FIFA does (See section 42.5) which basically goes as follows 
        •  Goal Difference in all group Matches
        • Greatest number of goals scored in all group matches 
        • And then more if needed


Last time we did this, and I think it worked out pretty well, we did a "slow" draft. Basically the draft start as soon as this post goes up. The person with the #1 pick can take as long or as short as they'd like. As long as all picks are in by the first match which is the 12th.

Picks can be submitted via the blog in the comments, article or you can text me and I will update this article with the new picks.

Here's a link with all the available teams.

I will do my best to update the blog as often as I can with Matches being completed. I know I enjoyed this last time so I hope everyone does as well

Alright, now what you've all been waiting for, the draft order.

And Brazil goes too.........................

Round 1
  1. Dan Noffke       Brazil
  2. Tim Fodor         Spain
  3. Ryan Parrent     Argentina
  4. Dave Weir         Germany
  5. Mark Fodor       Uruguay
  6. Colin O'Shea     Columbia
  7. Stephen Noffke Portugal
  8. Tim Transon      Switzerland

Round 2

  1. Tim Transon      Italy
  2. Stephen Noffke  Belgium
  3. Colin O'Shea      Chile
  4. Mark Fodor        France
  5. Dave Weir          Netherlands
  6. Ryan Parrent      England
  7. Tim Fodor          Greece
  8. Dan Noffke        Russia

Round 3

1. Dan Noffke             Ecuador
2. Tim Fodor               USA!
3. Ryan Parrent           Mexico
4. Dave Weir               Bosnia and Herzegovina
5. Mark Fodor             Algeria
6. Colin O'Shea           Croatia
7. Stephen Noffke       Ivory Coast
8. Tim Transon            Ghana

Round 4

1. Tim Transon          Iran
2. Stephen Noffke     Japan
3. Colin O'Shea         Nigeria
4. Mark Fodor           Honduras
5. Dave Weir             South Korea
6. Ryan Parrent         Costa Rica
7. Tim Fodor             Australia
8. Dan Noffke           Cameroon

You can pay me via chase quickpay at If you don't have chase let me know.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Grading the Bears Draft

I really like how Phil Emery and his crew handled this year's draft.  Let's go through pick by pick and talk about our new rookies.

Rd 1, pick 14: Kyle Fuller, CB, Virginia Tech.  I thought this pick was going to be Aaron Donald (went at 13 to the Rams).  But apparently Fuller was the Bears' target all along.  It seems as though a lot of analysts, Mike Mayock included, think he might be the best corner in the entire draft.  I thought his highlights were impressive.  His ideal player comparison in the NFL is Charles Tillman - 'nuff said.  Good fit, good potential.

Rd 2, pick 51: Ego Ferguson, DT, LSU.  He's HUGE (6'3" 315), and absolutely fits a major need on the defensive line.  I gotta admit he wasn't on my radar since he was a borderline top 10 guy, but watching his highlights he looks strong and tough and obviously LSU has a reputation for churning out pros.

Rd 3, pick 82: Will Sutton, DT, Arizona State.  I love guys who had good college careers and Sutton was the Pac-12 DPOY the last TWO years!  He looks slower and a bit less athletic than Ferguson but seems to be more of a hole-stuffer at defensive tackle.  I think this was an extremely smart pick.  These two defensive tackles could complement each other for years, especially learning from all the vets the Bears brought in via free agency on the defensive line.

Rd 4, pick 117: Ka'Deem Carey, RB, Arizona.  Ka'Deem is a BOSS.  He has had some legal issues but c'mon, who hasn't?  This guys is a legit starting quality talent in the NFL.  Offensive POY in the Pac-12 last year (way to go with the trivia picks, Emery), and just pops out at you on tape.  He's going to be an excellent guy learning behind Forte.  Love this pick, excited to see him in a Bears uniform.  If Forte goes down at any point next year, I would pick him up in fantasy without any hesitation.

Rd 4, pick 131: Brock Vereen, S, Minnesota.  Yet another mid round safety.  Eventually, we have to get one right, right?  Jerry Kill, Vereen's coach at Minnesota, had a lot of nice things to say about him.  And his big brother Shane Vereen has done well with the Patriots the last couple years when he's been healthy.  Haven't watched enough of Brock to comment on his NFL future with any kind of authority.  But go Big Ten.

Rd 6, pick 183: David Fales, QB, San Jose St.  He put up great college stats, I've never watched him.  Might be a wasted pick, but can't hurt from a depth perspective.

Rd 6, pick 191: Pat O'Donnell, P, Miami.  Sure, why not?  First punter of the draft I believe.

Rd 7, pick 246: Charles Leno Jr, OT, Boise St.  He's got the size and the pedigree, and Emery struck gold with OT Jordan Mills in the fifth round last year, so I'll give this pick the benefit of the doubt.  Check out ESPN's take on Leno, which points out that the last few Boise State left tackles haven't been half bad!  (Daryn Colledge, Ryan Clady, Nate Potter)

All in all, this looks like a solid B+/A- draft to me.  I feel like all four of the top four picks are going to make important contributions on the field next year, and that all eight guys are going to stick on the roster.  Fales is the only real question mark.  We got guys from strong programs and power conferences, which I dig.  Carey could end up being one of those Lance Briggs-type genius midround picks, and all three of the top guys are studs in my opinion.

One other note.  I was happy to see Michael Sam get drafted.  He deserves huge praise for the way he's gone about this thing and the bravery he has demonstrated in being so open and being a standard bearer for GLBT folks everywhere.  Good on the Rams and Jeff Fisher for going out and drafting him and being so classy - it was really a cherry on top of what was already a good draft for them.


Thursday, May 8, 2014

Ryan's Mock Draft 2.0

The second mock draft will include potential trades. So here we go:

1 - Texans - Jadeveon Clowney - DE

2 - Rams - Greg Robinson - OT

3 - Jaguars - Khalil Mack - DE/OLB

4 - TRADE! Buccaneers - Sammy Watkins - WR

5 - Raiders - Mike Evans - WR

6 - Falcons - Jake Matthews - OT

7 - Browns - Blake Bortles - QB (From Bucs)

8 - Vikings - Aaron Donald - DT

9 - Bills - Taylor Lewan - OT

10 - TRADE! Jets - Odell Beckham - WR

11 - TRADE! Dolphins - Zach Martin - OT/G

12 - TRADE! Eagles - Brandin Cooks - WR

13 - Rams - Bradley Roby - CB

14 - Bears - Kyle Fuller - CB/S

15 - Steelers - Eric Ebron - TE

16 - Cowboys - Johnny Manziel - QB

17 - TRADE! Titans - Anthony Barr - DE/OLB

18 - Lions - HaHa Clinton-Dix - S

19 - Ravens - Calvin Pryor - S (From Titans who got it from Dolphins)

20 - Cardinals - Ryan Shazier - ILB

21 - Packers - Darqueze Dennard - CB

22 - Giants - Xavier Su'a-Filo - G

23 - TRADE! Browns - Teddy Bridgewater - QB

24 - Bengals - Justin Gilbert - CB

25 - Chargers - Jeremiah Attachou - DE/OLB

26 - TRADE! 49ers - Cody Lattimer - WR

27 - Saints - Louis Nix III - NT

28 - Panthers - Marqise Lee - WR

29 - Patriots - DaQuan Jones - DT

30 - TRADE! Vikings - Derek Carr - QB

31 - Broncos - Jimmy Garrappolo - QB

32 - Seahawks - Keith McGill - CB