Dissecting ESPN's Scouts Inc. NFL Rankings By Position: The Running Backs

I know I said I was going to do this on a daily basis, and yes the majority of my time since my last post has been spent sitting on my couch watching tv/going out on the weekends, etc...But you all can kiss my ass, these things take time!

But anyways, I'm back to provide my insight on the Running Back's listed in the top 10 as provided by the 'Braintrust' at ESPN (you see I made a sarcastic joke there!)

(Grades in () )

1. LaDainian Tomlinson (89): The first thing I'd like to say is that I'm surprised that ESPN did not consider any of the RBs to be 'elite players' (which by grade would be 90-100). Anyways, I know people have said LT has lost it a little bit, and the Lillipution dynamo Sproles has taken some carries, but I say bullshit to the naysayers, the guy still rushed for 1,110 yards (his lowest amount while in the NFL) and caught for 426 at the age of 29...but look at this side by side and tell me they don't invoke similarity:

Predator = Badass (Even if the newer movies kinda blew)

2. Purple Jesus aka Adrian Peterson (88): Even though he has torn the Bears defense to pieces, this guy is a stud plain and simple. Although I still have grand visions of Prince Ogunleye going for his knees.

3. Brian Westbrook (86): At first I thought that this was an over-valued ranking because the guy has only has two 1,000+ yard seasons (and has never played a full 16 games). But the guy has not had the same reps that a lot of other highly regarded RBs have gotten, and in his 8 seasons of playing has never averaged under 4 ypc. I also like seeing him ranked this high since Matt Forte has been called the next Brian Westbrook (as stated by ESPN's KC Joyner).

4. Steven Jackson (84): Now I'll throw out the over-valued tag. I'll start to care when he can put up numbers like he did in '06 (1,528yds, 13tds) and he can stay healthy for more than 12 (which is the amount he has played each of the past two seasons).

5. (Tie) Michael Turner (84): I love Turner, the guy is a great back through and through. I said it time and time (yeah, I'm a fan of repetitious phrasing) again while he was with the Chargers that he would kick ass as a no.1 back. Lo and Behold, his first season as the premier back he puts up 1699 yds with 17tds. Plus I'm a homer and like the fact that he is from the Chicagoland area.

5. (Tie) Larry Johnson (84): Once again ESPN is thinking it is 2006. LJ, when healthy, has had some monster seasons (05: 1750yds, 20tds 06: 1789yds, 17tds). But since then hasn't played a full 16 game season. Can he revert back his old form? With the new coaching in KC, and me thinking they won't rely too heavily on Matt Cassel (who happens to be out 2-4 weeks with a sprained MCL anyway) putting up most of their points by throwing, I think that LJ just might have a good year (even though the team overall will still suck)...oh and this is all contingent on if he stops dressing like LL Cool J.

(LJ's cell phone rings...Who this? Brody Jenner? I don't know no F****** Brody Jenner. Whats that? I stole your metrosexual v-neck muscle shirt? My Bad)

7. Marion Barber (82): I like MBIII's abilities. Do I think he'll put up as high of numbers as some of the backs ranked below him? No, most likely not, but I think he'll still have a good season considering the fact that he'll be sharing carries with Felix Jones (as well as a handful (nice pun right?) to the greatest locker-room motivator in College FB history Tashard Choice)


8. Maurice Jones-Drew (81): The best 5'7" back in the game. This venerable bowling ball of the backfield will most likely get a nice boost in carries with Old-man Taylor heading up to NE. I think the ESPN Fantasy HOFer will have a good year. Plus anyone who lays out Shawne Merriman is worthy of a top 10 spot in my book.

9. (Tie) Ronnie Brown (80): I'd really like to offer some insight on to this, but for the life of me I just can't offer anything, well, insightful on Brown. I think he'll have a swell year, but I do think he's a little high on this list. So instead of offering you anything worthwhile, I'll just share this screencap of fellow Dolphins RB/Noted recreational herb enthusiast Ricky Williams in a Girls Gone Wild video:

9. (Tie) Clinton Portis (80): Clinton Portis, or one of his delightful split personalities, will probably have a sufficient season for the fantasy inclined. I like this spot for him on this list. Plus who can hate on Southeast Jerome?

(When reached for comment Herschel Walker said this Portis kid "doesn't have shit" on his split personalities)

11. (Tie) Matt Forte (79): I think that Forte will beat out some of the above ranked/mentioned players in production this year, but I don't want to be too hasty on putting him higher on the rankings. I think Forte does have the ability to become an elite back in this league, and Lord knows I love watching him play the way he has every game...but I also remember a running back named Anthony Thomas who rushed for over 1,000yds his rookie season with the Bears who is now unemployed. *Keeping my fingers crossed that Joyner was right about him being the next Westbrook...ya know, without the injuries though*

In closing, unlike my QB post, today I'm going to list the RBs who are better than, yet ranked below Reggie Bush (#22 on the list): Steve Slaton, LenWhale (because he's fat you see) White, Brandon Jacobs, Willie Parker, Ryan Grant, Jonathan Stewart, Willis McGahee, Ray Rice, CEDRIC F****** BENSON, and at least 5 more names, but I'm sick of typing.

Next up (this time whenever I get around to it): Wide Receivers